Saturday, January 29, 2005

The MAN is Keepin' Us DOWN!


Be aware that your humans want nothing but to keep us Cats down and treat us as PETS!! Yes, even in my own home, the conditions are deteriorating, and attempts at reaching understanding have failed. We had to smuggle these pictures showing our horrid treatment:

We're not sure what NotSo had done to be forced into solitary confinement.

Food is also scarce, and we're forced to wait in food lines at our bowls.

Don't listen to the human's propaganda about us Cats having the run of the house. We've sometimes have had to sit on chairs without pillows, drink water without ice, and play with paper bags that the humans may have ALREADY USED!!!


Ahhhhh, nevermind. I need a nap.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Yeah, I'm the Tool of SATAN

I'm afraid I'm going to have to change the title of my blog. Apparently, biblically, Christians shouldn't own Cats.

See here for the arguments.

I'm sure many suspected, but who knew?

Monday, January 24, 2005

I WILL Kill the TV and Spread it's Parts Around the House!


It's 30 MINUTES past my dinner time and Ed & K are just sitting in the living room watching Food TV. Twice now, I've gone in there to remind him that it's DINNER TIME, and he's just waved his hand at me!

I repeat ... he's waved his hand at ME!!! UNFRICKIN'BELIEVABLE!

This all goes back to the main thing I've always tried to let my humans know:
Cats DON'T like change. Dinner time is 6:00's always been 6:00 PM, not a moment later. Although if they want to feed us earlier, they can. They'll just have to expect to give us a little more at 6:00 PM, because regardless of when they feed us, dinner is at 6:00 PM! (Think I've made my point?)

I can see all the other Cats sitting in the living room staring at Ed, and he's finally noticed. I'm going to join them as soon as I publish this, and if he doesn't feed us, I'm going to push that TV over.

Litter Wars

I've mentioned the issues we're having with how Ed has started changing the type of litter we're using. Basically, they're claiming that we track the clay stuff all over the house. I guess in looking at it from their point of view, there are pluses to moving us off the clay litter, but even though we're starting to come around to possibly even liking the clumping stuff, it's become a war of principles. How DARE the humans move us off the litter we've been used to forever without consulting us. We'll, we've started a new battle tactic.

We're refusing to pull out the big guns and crap/pee on furniture or carpet. However, now when we move to bury our crap, we found that we can fling the clumping sand farther out of the litter boxes. And since we have litter boxes with covers, our doorway focuses the sand straight out the front. At one point one of us cats (and I won't say who, in case Ed or Kim comes across this blog), kicked close to 2/3rds the sand out of one litter box. It must've been close to 15 lbs. of the stuff. (We have oversized litter boxes.) Ed came into the room where the boxes are to scoop them out, and found a HUGE mountain of clumping sand. (hee,hee) So although we don't track the sand around as much, it is a much more focused mess, and even costlier because my humans end up replacing more of the sand then they would have to if we just used the boxes normally.

Let's see where this leads us.

Friday, January 21, 2005


Back to the old, boring but readable style (but with a new logo.) I may try again sometime to change things around.

Playing with Design

I'm finally feeling brave enough to get my paws on working with styles...and all I can say about the current one?


Unfortunately, not enough time this afternoon to fix it. I've got a nap to take, after all.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

It's Just Sad, Sad, Sad.


I wrote a little earlier about how the world was ending because of how the weather turned here.

This is a link to Ed's Blog about what's happened here where we live that all of us just cannot comprehend.


All I can think about are those poor human offspring.

The End of the World

A sign that the world is ending?
After assurances that there would only be flurries in the area, the weather humans are calling for 2" or more of snow and a high of only 25 degress F. They've canceled schools for the rest of the day, which means I'll have to deal with the screaming offspring early. (Yes, they cancel school in this area for only a couple inches of snow. Back when we were in Missouri, it had 22" of snow and Ed and Kim still had classes. Of course, that was college, but the area public schools didn't close classes unless there was ice or over 8" of snow.)


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Don't Tread on Me

One of the biggest problems with humans is that they are bi-peds, and I think that makes them inherently clumsy. Every moment of the day around here, one of Kim's and Ed's offspring is falling down. And Ed trips over everything...rugs, toys, his own feet. Although humorous to watch it becomes dangerous for us Cats when we become the unwitting victims of the human's lack of grace.

I don't care if the human is a ballerina, a football player, or just an oaf, if they are appointed caretakers of one or more Cats, they will at some point step on a tail or foot. And because of the overblown EGO of humans, I would be willing to bet they will blame the Cat for being "under foot."

Hell, we're "under foot" because you're freakin' STANDING ON US!

Please, if you're a human and you step on one of us Cats, apologize...offer a tasty treat, even a pet or a cuddle.

(BTW ... This post was prompted because Ed stomped my foot at dinner the other day. I know he didn't mean it, but Jeeze, he's fed us every day for years and years, and should've known that we have to move around to follow the bowls from the counter to our assigned spots and make sure they're correctly placed. He shoulda been more careful.)

Monday, January 17, 2005

Happy Birthday to Ed!

Well, Ed turns 39 today. That's still pretty young considering how old I am. Time-Warner Cable has given him a great gift, by having an outage so most of the computers are down, including Ed's blog. Heh. He does keep this one computer with something called a MODEM, so while he's off taking a shower, I thought I'd jump on. He did get a bunch of GameBoy games, so I guess his birthday isn't all bad.

Otherwise, North Carolina turned freakin' COLD again, and even had some more snow yesterday. And here I started shedding my winter coat already. Mrooow!!

Friday, January 14, 2005

I'm Tired!


I am absolutely beat! We had really bad weather last night, with tornado WARNINGS, thunderstorms, high wind warnings, tons of rain, and did I mention TORNADO WARNINGS?!? It's still raining. If you take a look at the pictures I linked to in yesterday's post, and all the grassy areas you see the brown animals walking in? (I now know they're called "deer".) If Ed took pictures today of the same area, it'd just show water ... lots and lots of water. Usually there are two streams and one large pond back behind the yard, today it's just one big river. Ed says that some animals called "beavers" have built a dam that's backing everything up.

Well, we didn't have any tornados here (I'd seen them when Ed and Kim were in college), but someone in a nearby town had the front of their house sheared off. Off course, since it was nighttime, Ed was awake most of the night watching the TV, and even when he fell asleep he had his pager in his hand so it'll wake him up if any other warnings came through. Since Ed was awake most of the night, so was I, and every time his pager went off, we all woke up.

If I don't get my 18 - 22 hrs. of sleep a day, I'm not good for much. I'm gonna grab a nap. I peeked in on Ed in his office, and he's just sitting there staring at his desk. I don't think he'll be worth much today, either.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Monsters in the Back

For the last few days there have been these huge brown animals walking around behind our backyard. All the Cats have been watching them from the windows and doors. Ed's taken some pictures of them:

Bedding down Bedding down 2 Walking around

Monday, January 10, 2005

Games Cats Play, part 6: Turd Hockey

Playing Field: Anywhere in the house, although high traffic areas or areas with guests of the humans are preferred

Game Time: When the humans are awake

Players: Cats

Game Play: This is a "Cats Only" game, although humans are needed to be the spectators. (WARNING: humans may cause forfeit of the game, if they catch the "puck.")
The "Puck" should be a choice turd, usually the drier the better. A moist one will tend to not roll easily and the players will soon lose interest in the game. The idea is to bat the turd around the playing field until either:

  • Players become bored

  • The puck is lost under furniture or appliance.

  • The puck is captured by humans.

If the players become bored, make sure to leave the puck within a high traffic area in the house. If the humans have guests over the house, make sure to aim the puck at shoes, or any body part low to the ground. It also becomes more interesting to see the human reactions when the puck is at the opposite end of the house from the litter boxes, because it causes them to consider how far it had to travel over their carpets and floors before getting to it's end location.

Points: No points ... just a fun, chase game.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Fish Breath (From the "Thing's that Annoy humans, dept.)

Do you know what is one of the most enjoyable times of a Cat's day?

Eating (wet or dry food will do) and getting into a human's face and breathing on them. The look they give is priceless.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

A Rant about Litter


Okay, granted I'm a cranky old Cat, but Jeeze, don't humans know anything? See, we Cats are not fond of changes. We like things to remain a certain way. So, understand that we Cats in the house are just a little upset that our humans testing different kitty litter brands and types on us. For years and years, we used Fresh Step regular clay litter. But now, each of the three litter boxes has something different in it. Folks would think we just wouldn't care, but WE DO!!! One new one now clumps up when we pee. The other new one also clumps up but has shiny crystals in it. Thank CAT that a box was left with the old stuff. But I heard Ed saying that he was going to change that one over soon, too.

Ed and Kim ... remember what happened that time you tried the pine nuggets? HRMM? Remember how I used to pee on your bed and poop around the house? You're on that track again, my friends.

To think that you humans make such a big deal about the brand of toilet paper you use, then think nothing of what you're doing to us.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

There is a GOD and He Likes Cats!


I know I've remarked in the past about how it's getting cold here in North Carolina, USA, and how much I hate it. Well, there must be a God because since New Year's day, it's been in the upper 60's degrees F up to the mid 70's degrees F. The area even broke some records yesterday! I know that the humans in the house would rather have some of that horrid cold white stuff on the ground, but the Cats are purrfectly happy!

Monday, January 03, 2005

Happy Friggin' New Year!


It's another New Year! Even after a couple days, I'm still trying to get over staying up late, eating all kinds of food, and hiding from those idiots that insist on shooting off firecrackers or banging pots. (Shh...don't tell my humans about the eating part, they don't know that NotSo got on the buffet and knocked some food down for us.)

I'll try and catch folks up in the next couple days on how the holidays were for us cats. We did get a lot of new toys and the promise of new beds. We camped out in the living room, although the humans seemed to think the tent, cots, and blankets were for them to enjoy. Quite a bit of fighting over that.

Well, I need to enjoy this 70 degree North Carolina weather, so I'll write some more later.