Thursday, February 24, 2005

Humpty-Hump

MROW!

Humans! Listen up!

When you see me "mounting" Jasper or NotSo, or when you see NotSo "mounting" Jasper or me, we aren't engaging in "alternative love." (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) We are performing a show of dominance.

Jeeze! Get yer minds out of the gutter!

(Although Jasper really doesn't seem to mind...hmmmm.)

Monday, February 21, 2005

"Girl Scouts" Ain't for the Faint of Heart

The eldest human offspring in the house is something called a "Brownie Girl Scout." I've written about them before and how they just don't leave me alone when there's a group of them here.

This past Friday was no exception. Because of some kind of festival or something, all these little female mini-humans were running around the house and making things. At one point Jasper ended up with streaks of glitter in his fur, which still haven't come out, yet. The older humans kept asking us to go upstairs, but it's MY HOUSE DAMMIT! I should be able to go anywhere I want without fear of being laid, kissed, or petted with slimy-sticky little girl fingers.

As part of the meeting, there were some of the mini-human's mothers in Ed's kitchen making something called "Sushi". There was something that smelled wonderful and they wouldn't give us any. They kept saying that there was no fish, that we were smelling something called "seaweed wrappers", but it sure smelled fishy to us. They tried to give us a carrot, which Jasper snatched up, but for the most part there was nothing that we could eat.

The worst part was that just like the other times these kids were over, Ed and Kim didn't pass ANYTHING past us Cats to get our approval.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A PSA for all Cats out there ...

Cats,

Please do not assume that when you see a human's bowl of food, that it'll be ice cream or some similar treat. What may taste good going down, may not have the best feeling coming out (if you get my drift.) Case in point: Chili. Do NOT eat chili by any means, especially if you go through the trouble to sneak onto a counter to get to it. It's just not worth the hassle and possible jail time.

And my humans wonder why I butt scoot sometimes.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Boxes and Boxes and Boxes

PURRRRRRRR!

Holy Freakin' Hell!!! The Cats have not had this much fun in a long time...

One of the mini-humans in the house, S, is something called a Brownie. She wears this little vest with dodads on it and things. Well, for the past couple weeks, she's been selling cookies. Since our house is large and has a very empty front living room (no furniture,) all the troops cookies were delivered here, yesterday, to be stored and given out. There are dozens and dozens of boxes piled everywhere. The Cats are just going wild!! We love climbing them, hiding behind them, and Ed stacked a bunch of empty ones for us to climb in. MAN THIS IS A BLAST. I've been mostly pouncing on the other Cats, but as usual, NotSo's targeted Ed.

Last night someone came to pick up her mini-human's order and Jasper HISSED at her, because he thought she was taking our TOYS!!! I had to explain to him that we all need to enjoy it while it lasts because I heard Kim tell Ed that it'll all be gone in a couple days.

See, ya! I've got some pouncing to do.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Your Guest Cat Tonight is .... NotSO

Yo!

How y'all doin'? Ming asked that I log on (he taught me) and relate the fun that I had wid one of the human's "play group."

It relates to Ming's last entry talking about how ya really gotta like the Cats, if you gonna be in our house? Well, this past Friday, the smallest human, K, had a bunch of rugrats over. Well, normally, I'd just go upstairs and sleep on a bed, ya know, but I sensed that one of the mini humans was, like, uneasy wid me. Sure enough, all I had to do was just walk by her and she'd scream and jump up on a chair or run to her momma, ya know? So's I decided that she'd be my friend. Shoot, every five minutes I'd run through the room and head straight for her. She'd scream, cry and run for her momma. The best part, tho, is that her momma wants her kid to get used to Cats, ya know, so they didn't chase me from the room! So for two hours, I'd just go try and rub on her every five minutes.

I don't know how someone wouldn't like li'l ol' me.

Peace!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

You Will Be Assimilated

A PSA for you humans reading this ...

Didya ever notice that when someone comes in your house/apartment that professes to "not like" or "is afraid of" Cats, how we'll automatically swarm that person? Didya think that we do it on purpose?

Yup!

If someone comes into our home, they WILL like us, or they will be driven stark, raving, MAD!!!

This has been an announcement of the CATS Network ... you will now be returned to your regular programming.

Yeah, I know...I got nothing. I'll do better next time.